Jokes in English

"Jokes in English"

Height of addiction:

Just before hanging,

Judge asked the prisoner:

"any last wish?"

Prisoner:

Yes..

I want to update my facebook status as "dead" :-d

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Wife hints to husband for a new car

Saying,

"dear, buy me something that

Goes 0 to 80 in 3 seconds when i am on it"

Husband gifted her

A weighting machine.. :-)

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Once a guy updated his status:

I am gonna sleep shirtless tonight"

.

After 15 minutes..

.

.

.

.

.

21 mosquitos liked his status.. :-d

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Mom of the millenium:

A girl tells her mom:

"i want some fresh air,

Can i go 4 a walk.?"

.

.

Mom:

"alright, but ask ur fresh air to leave u home by 9 pm" :-)

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If husband is the head of the family,

Then what is wife??

Wife is the neck of the family

Which can turn the head anywhere. :-d

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Dad: what’s ur result?

Son: i’ve failed in 5 subjects.

Dad: from now onwards don’t call me “dad”.

Son: oh come on dad!

Its my school test not a dna test.. :-d

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To the girls

If you want to avoid so many friend requests..

Kindly upload your original photos without makeup.. :-d

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Laughing is the best then medicine.

But,

If you are laughing without a reason,

You need medicine.

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After a terrible fight..

Wife: i want to hear a last word from your mouth

And after that, i'll permanently go to my mother's house..

Husband: "taxi"... ;-)

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Source: 

http://funnysms.pakreseller.com/cat/english-funny-sms

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